You turned 8 years old last month. That seems so old. I feel like just yesterday you were the perpetually happy, energetic 2 year old running into my room early in the morning yelling, "I'm AWAKE!" Now I often find myself looking at pictures of you and watching videos and being swept back to those joyful times in our life.
These days are also joyful in their own way. You have gained so much independence and have really thrived in your school environment, making a lot of friends and becoming someone that a lot of kids look up to. You teach your brother things, you love learning and sharing facts and you have become a pretty great basketball player.
Also the older you get, the more obvious it becomes to me that you are my mini-me. I think sometimes that comes to me in moments of frustration. Sometimes you do things that I get upset about and then when I really think about it, I realize it upsets me because it reminds me of something I do. Other times I realize it when I see the ways your emotions come out. You have a temper and so do I. You do not like being controlled and neither do I. It is important for you to feel connected and close to people and I can tell that even when you are upset with me, you long to be close to me. I can relate to all of that too. Even when I am angry with you, I have to fight back the urge to just reach out and hug you to make sure you know that my anger does not preclude or in anyway decrease my love for you. Sometimes you and I make special glances at each other because its like we both understand something that others don't, like we are thinking and feeling the same things at the same time. I love that and I look forward to seeing how it develops as you get older. My dad and I have that same thing. Sometimes we will crack up laughing at something that we both pickup on and no one else will have a clue. So maybe one day it will be you, me and Paps laughing together.
I am sorry I don't write in here as often as I used to. I always want to put into words what I am feeling but lately I have been trying to live it out more than just saying or writing it. I hope that when you grow up you are able to recall always FEELING loved even more than hearing or reading that you are loved.XOXO,
Mommy
