Lately I have been stressed. I literally feel like there are not enough hours in the day. From the moment I wake up, the hamster wheel in my mind starts going and I am listing all of the things I need to do before my feet even hit the ground. I have gotten a promotion at work that is exciting but is stretching me from a professional standpoint. I go to work and feel pressure in my chest all day as I try to balance my roles there. I put a smile on my face and try to act confident even though I often feel like crying because I am overwhelmed. Some days I feel disheartened because so many psychiatric patients don't get better. I feel frustrated by the employees that I am now managing who don't have the work ethic that I wish they had. I feel insecure that I am not doing things good enough to please my boss. I feel anxious, inadequate, vulnerable and exhausted.
Then I get off work. I drive home. I park the minivan in the garage and I come inside. Maximus, let me tell you, the BEST feeling in the world is when I walk in and you see me and yell "MOMMY" with a big smile on your face. Then little Titus looks up, smiles, and crawls over to me. Its like a dream coming home to such a sweet greeting. It makes me feel so strong, confident, joyful and peaceful. Lately you have also been randomly looking at me and saying, "mommy, I love you," out of the blue. Its so genuine and personal when you do that and it makes me feel like all is right with the world. Those are the moments I live for. I love you so much my boy.
Love,
Mommy
