I Don't Want to Grow Up...

Hi My Sweet Boy,
 

Your 3rd Birthday Party

    Tomorrow you turn 3. I can't hardly believe it. We celebrated this weekend and today I spent much of the day going through pictures of you from when you were first born. It seems like just yesterday and yet it seems like a lifetime has already passed. You have filled my every day with laughter and amusement. I remain baffled by how intuitive you are. You are a wise little soul. You say things and ask questions that I never imagined a 2 year old could know enough to ask. For example, tonight after I tucked you in and was walking out of your room, you asked me, "is Jesus God?" I didn't quite know what to say. I hardly understand the marvel that is the Trinity, let alone was I prepared to communicate that to a toddler.

Dinosaur Party!

    This past year there has been so much change in our lives. Titus was born and you became a big brother. I have watched you transform into a kid from a baby. Tomorrow, in addition to turning three, you will be starting preschool. I will have to drop you off and kiss you goodbye and try to hold it together. I have been trying to prep myself for this milestone. I think you will do well. I hope you will join the class excitedly and not cry. At the same time, I hope that you will cling to me for a little bit and then turn and join your class but then look back at me before I leave.

Roller Skates for this Big Boy!

   You understand me very well and I am pretty sure you know just what to do and say to knowingly melt my heart. For example, a few weeks ago we shared a very special moment when I was tucking you into bed (I love that special time of the day... we usually laugh and pray and talk about your day and sing songs). I sang you the song "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift. Its one you know well because it is the song in the video I made you for your first birthday. Anyway, that night, I could tell you were really listening to the words, and when I was done singing you just looked at me and started crying and said "I don't want to grow up." I teared up and hugged you and told you that no matter what you will always be my baby. I felt so bad for making you sad with that song but I also loved the fact that you understood how sentimental this issue is. Since that night there have been several times that you look at me with a feigned sad face that hides an ornery grin and say in a dramatic voice, "I don't want to grow up," just because you know I love it when you say that. Of course I WANT you to grow up and be the strong, godly, outgoing, funny and brilliant man that I know you will be. I want to experience every moment along the way with you as my kid, then my teen, then my young man, then eventually the father of my grandbabies. But for now, I just wish I could freeze time, and keep you little.

Tomorrow is a big day for both of us baby. But its nighttime now and I need to go to sleep. I can't wait to wake up and see you in the morning!

Love,
Momma